Polynesian Paralysis

Material Components

  • 3/4 ounce fresh lemon juice
  • 3 ounces orange juice
  • 3 ounces pineapple juice
  • 1 ounce orgeat syrup
  • 1/2 ounce sugar syrup
  • 3 ounces okolehao
  • 12 ounces crushed ice

Vessel

Tiki bowl

Garnish

gerdenia

Preparation

  1. Put everything in a blender.
  2. Blend for up to ten seconds.
  3. Add ice cubes to fill.
  4. Garnish with a gardenia.

Notes

Finally, an official diagnosis for the condition I've been fighting my whole life. The cure is the same as the cause: a blender full of juices, orgeat, and okolehao.

Okolehao is tough to find, but you can order direct from islanddistillers.com. Beachbum berry recommends bourbon or rye as a substitution, but it's worth noting that Okolehao tastes entirely different from anything else.